Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
