he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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