If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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