So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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