He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
