kristin has been a bad kristin
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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