My room smells like vodka and shame
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The power of my boobs compel you
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
