My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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