I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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