He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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