Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
