I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize