We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Please don't give away my fajitas
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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