literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
