She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
