He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
