All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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