R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
