real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
