She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
