I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Come on in and take your pants off
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