Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
