I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.