We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.