Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
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you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.