Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy