yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
