were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.