remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?