dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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