i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Drunk is a universal language darling
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
