sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize