Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
