.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Sorry about my life...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
