In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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