in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
