AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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