she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
