there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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