dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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