woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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