All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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