She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
