Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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