haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My liver just had a heart attack.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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