just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
