Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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