the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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