Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
