Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
