I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
