I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You're so nebulous sometimes
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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