He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
