I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
