The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He passed out mid-signature
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
