i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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