He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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