just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
