paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
