i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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