it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
