He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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