next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am one with the molecules
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
