Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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