It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
