I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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