Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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